I just finished up a series of answers to an impromptu interview about the development of TLAU.
I weeded through the expected questions: background, interest, training, where I saw this project going.
Then, a bump in the road.
If you could meet your goal of 500,000 views, that’ll be great. Do you have another goal? (i.e., get listed in IMDB, make your dad proud, make your actors proud, etc.)
I thought: All I want is to make my actors proud. They’ve given so much… I hope that I will return their graciousness, their kindness and spirit.
And then, I began to cry. It came out of nowhere… little rivers of tears, running down my face, for all I dream of is to make my father proud…
…and I doubt that I ever will, you see, for he is dead. Felled by a massive stroke that wiped out his beautiful brain.
He was the Taliesin that lured me towards cinema; when I was eight, he took me to a Halloween viewing of Metropolis.
My life was changed then, and again, and again. Diva. Fanny and Alexander. The Godfather. Le Chevre. This Is Spinal Tap. I never knew that film could have such… life. Emotion. Impact.
Thus, I began my trip on the road that is known as entertainment. There were some bumps along the way, as there are for all of us who stick it out. Each bump was a threat, as if I might turn away, relegate myself to the role of the failed romantic.
But my parents did not raise a quitter. Instead, I forged ahead. Little victories. Tiny triumphs…
There are nights when I lie in bed and enter the waters of Shoulda-Woulda-Coulda land. When I arrive at those dismal shores, I berate myself. I should have created this project years ago, for then, I would have been able to hear my father’s voice. I could have seen his face as he told me how proud he was of me.
But now I can’t, for he is gone… and so, I walk this winding path. Often alone. On occasion, I’ve lost my map, or my batteries have run out. I begin to believe that I have nothing… and then I realize that I have something.
I have hope.
Now, go write.
HRH, Princess Scribe